Being friends with a girl before dating
Nothing felt weird to me, but the transitions didn’t just happen on their own.
At each new point, we always had a conversation to find out where we were and how we felt.
If his last girlfriend texted him 4,000 times a day, you know not to text him 4,000 times a day and thus, only text him 3,999 times a day. One of the hardest parts about dating someone new is "oh my god, who even is this stranger?! He already knows some of your #issues and is fine with them.
" but with him, you already have a pretty good sense of who he is because you've spent the last year hanging out with him like pals. He knows that you start imagining he's dead on the side of the road when he doesn't text you back for eight hours so he does his best not to make you think he's dead. If he's the type of guy who would've been your friend whether you eventually dated or not, he's already the best kind of guy to date.
We all know the guys who meet you and become friends with you but are really only doing that because they hope one day you'll bone and then if you ever get a boyfriend, they hate you. With him, you've always known he would be your friend either way because he genuinely likes you no matter what, which is the best foundation ever for a kickass relationship. You know how to make each other laugh, so telling him a joke isn't like throwing piles of dust into the wind. You know the basics about his childhood and any possible weirdness there.
When you date strangers, it's so hard to know what their sense of humor is or what they find funny, so often you feel like a total weirdo when a joke doesn't land because he doesn't get it or it's not his thing. It's been like a year of the hottest foreplay of your life. No, you haven't met his family yet but you know what his sister does for work, and if he had a brother who was not that nice to him, and whether or not he had a nice or crappy childhood, all of which allowed you to understand him way more than a guy on Tinder you've spoken to for 60 minutes about sports. You can tell when he's stressed versus mad versus has a personality disorder.
Ashley: The second time around, after he’d lived in Seattle, he just showed up on my doorstep and kissed me. Also, it really doesn’t say much for platonic friendship if you can only be friends with people you aren’t attracted to.If it works out, great — but if it doesn’t, well, there’s a good chance the friendship won’t survive unscathed.I learned this lesson the hard way when I started dating a friend in high school.Plus, he’s fun to talk to about anything because he’s animated, opinionated and hilarious.
Kelly: Well, you spend as much time together as you possibly can, eventually you get irritated for pretty much no reason. One of our goals this year is to spend more time with other people because we need that to avoid some of those moments when we’re staring at each other and thinking, “OMG, GO AWAY!
Not only were we good friends, but our families were also extremely close and had been for years.